The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
