im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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