I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
