i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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