yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
