Do vagina's smell?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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