and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
