just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
