it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
