Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
