it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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