The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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