You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
