i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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