I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
