what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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