I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
