how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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