it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
