It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
