i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I will be naked everywhere
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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