Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
