So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
