I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
