we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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