I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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