just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
