why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
