Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
