I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
