Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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