I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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