He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
