if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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