Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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