i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
