Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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