Do you still have your period?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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