good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
