I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
