I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
