Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
