im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
