If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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