one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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