Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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