Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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