I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
