Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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