This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
