make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
